February 11, 2016

 I want to do a remake of Bonanza.

 Okay, so I want to do a remake of Bonanza. Okay? Cool. I'll call my people.

February 7, 2016

February 6, 2016

I feel like there should already be a sequel to Batman v Superman.

January 28, 2016

January 22, 2016

You've heard of Pop Eye. Well, I'm Cap Eye. I'm a sailor, too. An Admiral. Best Chief Boss Admiral. And I can shoot steam and fire. And ice. I have the seven speeds of a blender and the moves of an articulated seamstress form. By the time you see me, it's too late. You're either rescued or arrested, depending on which path you took after high school.

January 21, 2016

January 17, 2016

January 12, 2016

a) "You bought an El Chapo shirt? What a tool."
b) "What kind of shirt is that? El Chapo? What a tool."

January 11, 2016

New Calendar! With Woofie McWoofs!

I hope the next Spiderman movie brings back Paste Pot Pete.

Something's lost that can't be found. 
Please, Sean Penn, look around.

George Lucas, you JAR JAR no longer have a JAR JAR right to JAR JAR express an opinion JAR JAR about 
JAR JAR Star Wars
This party is way too young for me. What's the number for UBER?
There's a Cadillac SUV with a big red bow on it in my driveway. If it's not gone in five minutes, I'm having it towed.

Fancy dinner: $300
Really good wine: $150
Hiring an actress to push away your engagement ring and run out sobbing, "I can't marry you! You're too good for me and you're way too generous with your billions of dollars and you have a giant schlong!"


January 6, 2016

Throwback Thursday:
From the live action Sonic The Hedgehog fan film. Jaleel White returned to reprise his role as the voice of Sonic and yours truly portrayed Dr. Robotnik.

January 3, 2016

December 28, 2015

December 26, 2015

December 23, 2015

December 22, 2015

December 19, 2015