I want to do a remake of Bonanza.
January 22, 2016
You've heard of Pop Eye. Well, I'm Cap Eye. I'm a sailor, too. An Admiral. Best Chief Boss Admiral. And I can shoot steam and fire. And ice. I have the seven speeds of a blender and the moves of an articulated seamstress form. By the time you see me, it's too late. You're either rescued or arrested, depending on which path you took after high school.
January 12, 2016
January 11, 2016
New Calendar! With Woofie McWoofs!
I hope the next Spiderman movie brings back Paste Pot Pete.
Something's lost that can't be found.
Please, Sean Penn, look around.
George Lucas, you JAR JAR no longer have a JAR JAR right to JAR JAR express an opinion JAR JAR about
JAR JAR Star Wars
This party is way too young for me. What's the number for UBER?
There's a Cadillac SUV with a big red bow on it in my driveway. If it's not gone in five minutes, I'm having it towed.
Fancy dinner: $300
Really good wine: $150
Hiring an actress to push away your engagement ring and run out sobbing, "I can't marry you! You're too good for me and you're way too generous with your billions of dollars and you have a giant schlong!"